MOVIE REVIEW: MAZE RUNNER: THE DEATH CURE
MAZE RUNNER: THE DEATH CURE was interminable. Exactly how long was that? It started at 5pm. What year is it...
Read MoreAuthor: Ken Bolding
Milking the Truth
There’s a milk commercial that claims “9 out of 10 U.S. Olympians grew up drinking milk.” It bothers me; so I look up the statistic and confirm my suspicion. Nine out of ten *people* in the U.S. consume milk as children. That commercial would be true for pretty much anything. 9/10 U.S. serial killers grew up drinking milk. 9/10 sufferers of male pattern baldness grew up drinking milk. 9/10 U.S. Neo-Nazis grew up drinking milk. Using the truth to...
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KEN V. THE 99 CENTS STORE: Cents and Sensibility
Picking up some stuff at the 99 cents Only Store. A woman is holding up the line, arguing with the cashier. Maybe it’s a price...
Read MoreMOVIE REVIEW: DEN OF THIEVES
You may be as surprised as I am that I enjoyed DEN OF THIEVES. After all, it does star Gerard Butler, who reliably makes bad films. But this was a pretty good testosterone-filled caper, especially for this time of the year. Don’t get me wrong. It still had its share of bad cop movie cliches: The bad boy cop who plays by his own rules Criminals getting operational details of a heist target that they just would not be privy to An obligatory visit to a strip club Cops who beat the shit out of people to get information...
Read MoreADVENTURES IN GROCERY SHOPPING: Pushing My Buttons
I stopped at a Ralph’s Supermarket on the way back from the movies just now. As I was about to board the escalator out of the parking garage, I see a sign with a giant arrow pointing me around the corner instead. I follow the sign and find another escalator, this one leading down. At the bottom, I find the entrance to the store. So far, so good. I purchase my items and walk back to the escalator. There is no up. It must be on the other side, I think. No, not there. I see that there’s an elevator at the far end, so I go there. A woman has entered just before me and has pushed her button. I go to do the same and understand none of what I see. There’s an “R” near the bottom, a “B” at the top, an “ST” near the middle, and a few “L’s” with numbers next to them. I stare for a few seconds, perplexed. I see that the woman has pushed “ST.” “Excuse me,” I say. “Is ‘ST’ one level up in the parking garage?” “Yes,” she says. “Don’t worry. It took me like a year to figure this place out. You’d think that ‘B’ would be for ‘basement,’ and ‘R’ would be for ‘roof.’ “Well, what is ‘R?” I ask. “‘R’ is for ‘Ralf’s’.” “Oh! …Wait, then...
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