Month: August 2017

 Ken v. McDonalds Episode 214: It’s Not You It’s Me – by Ken Bolding Those of you who follow my “adventures” know that “Ken v. McD’s” always begins the same way, “A large iced coffee, no cream, no sugar, no flavor. And the two sausage McMuffin deal, no cheese… Ken, like Barbie’s boyfriend. K-E-N.” Sometimes I skip the McMuffins. Sometimes I add a water. But I use this particular combination of words because they seem to make it less likely that things will go awry. But they almost always do. And I’m beginning to think it’s me. Let’s start with something seemingly unrelated. I sometimes put out streetlights. I approach them and they turn off. Most people don’t believe this but a few have witnessed it. A few years ago, I went to a cabaret show with my friend Melissa. As I walked her home, my recollection is that nine streetlights winked out as we passed under them during the 10-minute walk. My hypothesis is that my body emits or reflects a frequency of electromagnetic radiation that trips the light sensor. The streetlights think it’s daytime and turn off. Or maybe it’s more like a targeted EMP. I’m not sure. But judging by today’s interaction, whatever it is also disrupts the electromagnetic signals in the brains of McDonald’s employees and renders them unable to function. I approach and FLIP!...