Am transferring a PowerPoint deck to a new template. It has a section called “Door Locking Device.” It has a subsection called “Major Functions.” Can you guess what’s in the Major Functions section? Correct! That was a great guess. It contains a single bullet point that reads “locking.” I did not see that twist coming. I really need this...
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Proposed First Paragraph of Dick Cheney’s Memoir (Because Keefer and the Washington Post challenged me) There are thoughts that haunt me. I start awake to the phantom whisper of my own voice. My phantom holds council with me as I dream, but he is no friend of waking Dick. To Dick Slumber he is a vigilant and steadfast friend. To Dick Cheney, a familiar stranger who daily retreats as I rise to attack the day. Dick Phantom makes no salutation or overture of friendship. He merely completes his council with Dick Slumber in words too soft for me to...
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